[It would hearten him to know Temenos never neglected his studies. He took much pride in knowing that Temenos cared to learn his language back when they found some enjoyment in each other's company, but there's nothing left for Lobelia to feel now, no room left to fill. In death, he's found his fulfillment. No longer is he empty, forever wandering, wondering what happiness truly meant and what shape it might come to him in.
All the same, Lobelia manages a smile upon hearing those words. No longer such empty things, that thin, barely there smile is all the more genuine for the happiness he's found.]
Allons-y. I won't lead you astray.
[The only way to move forward, Lobelia has found, is through old pains. This space won't free them until they do, but were it Lobelia's choice, he wouldn't pain Temenos any more than he had in life. After all, he did feel something of an affinity for him.
As they move further into the abyss, the world around them warps and shifts. Lobelia is no longer present, Temenos finding himself alone on an island not entirely dissimilar from the one he's spent the last several weeks on... but ah, no, he isn't exactly alone.
He's much younger now, being fussed over by two people who clearly love him dearly.
"Everyone has the right to be happy— everyone and anyone. That means you too, Lobelia..."
"Use that talent of yours, and you’re guaranteed to be happy! You’re a genius, son, and you’re certain to succeed! Live a life of bliss, Lobelia!"
It doesn't take much to realize that these proud, beaming faces belonged to Lobelia's parents.]
[Part of Temenos wants to scoff at that declaration. In the wake of Lobelia's performance at the trial, Temenos had never felt so astray in his life. Lobelia burned so brightly- brighter than even the path lit by the Sacred Flame. But Temenos only had himself to blame for following that brighter flame for a time.
Now, though? He's seeing the change in Lobelia. Perhaps deep down, he wants to see Lobelia prove that he really means what he says. That the smile he wears isn't the most carefully crafted mask Temenos has ever laid eyes on.
Thus, he joins Lobelia at his side as they walk into the darkness together.
...
Ah. While the scene isn't familiar, the sensation is. He's been finally pulled into a memory. If these are Lobelia's parents, then he almost certainly knows what horrors are to come.
There's something haunting about seeing it for himself, however. There is nothing malicious about Lobelia's parents. He grew up loved, so...did the emptiness he felt simply occur naturally?]
[Temenos knows what fate awaits his parents, having seen their deaths repeated on Lobelia's own body, and blessedly, he's spared from witnessing them a second time. Still, he isn't immune from what he feels— rather, all that he no longer feels.
Happiness, sorrow, elation, pain. Conceptually, Lobelia knows what these things mean. His parents, doting as they were, did their utmost to keep Lobelia from knowing anything but happiness, and yet it remained just out of his reach for all of his life.
What does it mean to be happy? What does it feel like? The wave of elation that followed in the wake of his parent's deaths at his own hands was short-lived, overwhelming as it was, and Temenos will feel that same madness course through his veins. What goes up comes down just as quickly, replaced with that same insatiable emptiness.
No matter what Lobelia destroyed, happiness was always fleeting. Lives snuffed out in an instant, entire cities toppled, oceans of blood pooling at his heels. "Happiness" came to him with each and every escalation, but when it abandoned him, it did so viciously. With each moment recounted, that guttering emptiness compounds, carrying a crushing weight all its own.
It was only on this island that Lobelia had begun to accept that he'd never fulfill his parents' wish to seek out happiness at any cost. What remains of this memory begins to fizzle and fade, but not before a pair of sharp red eyes cut straight through Temenos and pierce into his empty heart.
"I know what happiness is. I had it in my hands. Like a jewel. Oh shade of a man, will you scrabble at me for a mere taste of it?"
With that, the memory dissipates, leaving Temenos and Lobelia back where they began.]
[Only in the depths of grief has Temenos felt such a crushing emptiness. And even then, he was fortunate enough to have someone by his side to pull him out of it. But Lobelia was only ever trapped in that emptiness, falling deeper and deeper the more he tried to crawl out. At the end of it all, however, there stood Vergilius at the edge of the pit...
As Temenos stands there beside him, a hand over his heart, he reflects upon their interactions on the island in a new light. He imagines that emptiness pervading every waking moment.
It is still difficult to comprehend. But now that he has felt it for himself, he thinks he can understand it a little better.]
The happiness that Vergilius spoke to you of... Did you find it, then? What does it feel like to you?
[Temenos truly is a kind person. He has every right to admonish Lobelia, more so for knowing his words won't nettle him as bitterly as they might others, an easy target if ever there was one. Even so... Lobelia sees that hand over Temenos' heart and smiles a little more brightly. Sympathy even for a devil, or is it pity? In either case, he's as thankful for it as one can be.]
Oui. He was the one who had me convinced that I would never find such a thing— I was resigned to that fate, but he's a strange man, you know. He insisted on dashing every hope I had, and yet he refused to let me give up.
[He hadn't understood Vergilius well enough to see the logic behind his reasoning at the time, and really, it never was a logical decision to pull Lobelia back from the brink. It was a mistake on Vergilius' part, Lobelia would argue, but there's no taking back the past. Memories cannot be rewritten.]
La mort c'est la liberté. I owe him my eternal gratitude for guiding me this far. In a word... it feels satiating.
[But he has Temenos here now, and so he's curious, genuinely:]
Hmm. Strange, indeed. I couldn't claim to understand him, myself. The most I know is that he had no intention of actually letting you be the end of him, and yet now you two stand side by side.
[Maybe Vergilius had simply intended to put Lobelia out of his misery and give him that happiness in death. Whatever came next was a bridge to cross later. Again, Temenos would never really know unless he asked, but...that's one mystery that he doesn't mind remaining a mystery.
Interestingly enough, he nods in agreement with Lobelia's answer, a small smile on his face.]
In a similar vein, it makes me feel whole. Like...finding the missing piece of a puzzle.
[What Temenos doesn't know certainly won't kill him... but Vergilius might. Lobelia can think of no one more easily embarrassed than that man, but that might simply be because he knows all the right buttons to push. In any case, Lobelia knows better than to bring that fact to light, so he'll turn the spotlight fully onto Temenos instead, playful laughter preceding his words.]
It sounds like you've found your vérité as well, Temenos.
[He seems pleasantly amused, unable to hold back another bout of laughter.]
I had a feeling you might. We're not that different, after all! Félicitations, pécheur.
[How is he not supposed to laugh? He pegged Temenos as a bitch in sheep's clothing from the very start, so seeing the path he's taken is highly gratifying. Speaking of which:]
Heheh! And I would have taken great pride in doing so, I'll have you know. I would think of it less as ruination and more of a gentle nudge in the right direction, however. There's no shame in being true to oneself!
[There was a bad bitch brewing in Temenos all along and Lobelia knew it. It's about time he embraced that.]
Still, let me assure you that it was never my intention to kill your beloved. His short temper was a useful tool, but I hadn't anticipated him... well, attempting to eat me. That was never part of the plan.
Edited (wAIT let me add something) 2023-06-21 04:20 (UTC)
[Honestly, that just kind of annoys him even more.]
I don't know what you could have possibly expected when you chose to jab salt into the proverbial wound of the Avatar of Gluttony.
[Of course he was going to try to eat him??
Still, that precisely what Temenos was getting at when he said Lobelia had almost ruined the truth that he had discovered for himself. The other stuff, however...]
But I suppose I shall begrudgingly give you an ounce of credit for opening my eyes to some matters. I suspect we'll both be different people on the other side of all this.
[What the "other side" looks for Lobelia, though, he cannot say.]
Heh! I understand my folly now. Even geniuses are wont to make a mistake every now and then.
[At least he can admit that he made an error in judgment? Still, there was no one more suited to the task than Beelzebub, so it is what it is. With such little room for error, Lobelia wasn't willing to take any chances when his own death was a necessity.]
As it stands, my only intention is to serve the one who illuminated my path. That is as immutable a fact now as it always has been, so I would argue you are the one who stands to change the most.
[But knowing what commonalities they share, Lobelia has to issue a well-intentioned warning.]
You aren't out of the woods yet, Temenos. Flirting with death will catch up to you eventually. Now that you've yet one more thing to lose, you'll take heed and watch your step, won't you?
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no subject
All the same, Lobelia manages a smile upon hearing those words. No longer such empty things, that thin, barely there smile is all the more genuine for the happiness he's found.]
Allons-y. I won't lead you astray.
[The only way to move forward, Lobelia has found, is through old pains. This space won't free them until they do, but were it Lobelia's choice, he wouldn't pain Temenos any more than he had in life. After all, he did feel something of an affinity for him.
As they move further into the abyss, the world around them warps and shifts. Lobelia is no longer present, Temenos finding himself alone on an island not entirely dissimilar from the one he's spent the last several weeks on... but ah, no, he isn't exactly alone.
He's much younger now, being fussed over by two people who clearly love him dearly.
"Everyone has the right to be happy— everyone and anyone. That means you too, Lobelia..."
"Use that talent of yours, and you’re guaranteed to be happy! You’re a genius, son, and you’re certain to succeed! Live a life of bliss, Lobelia!"
It doesn't take much to realize that these proud, beaming faces belonged to Lobelia's parents.]
no subject
Now, though? He's seeing the change in Lobelia. Perhaps deep down, he wants to see Lobelia prove that he really means what he says. That the smile he wears isn't the most carefully crafted mask Temenos has ever laid eyes on.
Thus, he joins Lobelia at his side as they walk into the darkness together.
...
Ah. While the scene isn't familiar, the sensation is. He's been finally pulled into a memory. If these are Lobelia's parents, then he almost certainly knows what horrors are to come.
There's something haunting about seeing it for himself, however. There is nothing malicious about Lobelia's parents. He grew up loved, so...did the emptiness he felt simply occur naturally?]
no subject
Happiness, sorrow, elation, pain. Conceptually, Lobelia knows what these things mean. His parents, doting as they were, did their utmost to keep Lobelia from knowing anything but happiness, and yet it remained just out of his reach for all of his life.
What does it mean to be happy? What does it feel like? The wave of elation that followed in the wake of his parent's deaths at his own hands was short-lived, overwhelming as it was, and Temenos will feel that same madness course through his veins. What goes up comes down just as quickly, replaced with that same insatiable emptiness.
No matter what Lobelia destroyed, happiness was always fleeting. Lives snuffed out in an instant, entire cities toppled, oceans of blood pooling at his heels. "Happiness" came to him with each and every escalation, but when it abandoned him, it did so viciously. With each moment recounted, that guttering emptiness compounds, carrying a crushing weight all its own.
It was only on this island that Lobelia had begun to accept that he'd never fulfill his parents' wish to seek out happiness at any cost. What remains of this memory begins to fizzle and fade, but not before a pair of sharp red eyes cut straight through Temenos and pierce into his empty heart.
"I know what happiness is. I had it in my hands. Like a jewel. Oh shade of a man, will you scrabble at me for a mere taste of it?"
With that, the memory dissipates, leaving Temenos and Lobelia back where they began.]
no subject
As Temenos stands there beside him, a hand over his heart, he reflects upon their interactions on the island in a new light. He imagines that emptiness pervading every waking moment.
It is still difficult to comprehend. But now that he has felt it for himself, he thinks he can understand it a little better.]
The happiness that Vergilius spoke to you of... Did you find it, then? What does it feel like to you?
no subject
Oui. He was the one who had me convinced that I would never find such a thing— I was resigned to that fate, but he's a strange man, you know. He insisted on dashing every hope I had, and yet he refused to let me give up.
[He hadn't understood Vergilius well enough to see the logic behind his reasoning at the time, and really, it never was a logical decision to pull Lobelia back from the brink. It was a mistake on Vergilius' part, Lobelia would argue, but there's no taking back the past. Memories cannot be rewritten.]
La mort c'est la liberté. I owe him my eternal gratitude for guiding me this far. In a word... it feels satiating.
[But he has Temenos here now, and so he's curious, genuinely:]
What does happiness feel like to you, Temenos?
sorry for the wait on this!!
[Maybe Vergilius had simply intended to put Lobelia out of his misery and give him that happiness in death. Whatever came next was a bridge to cross later. Again, Temenos would never really know unless he asked, but...that's one mystery that he doesn't mind remaining a mystery.
Interestingly enough, he nods in agreement with Lobelia's answer, a small smile on his face.]
In a similar vein, it makes me feel whole. Like...finding the missing piece of a puzzle.
no subject
It sounds like you've found your vérité as well, Temenos.
[He seems pleasantly amused, unable to hold back another bout of laughter.]
I had a feeling you might. We're not that different, after all! Félicitations, pécheur.
no subject
He lets out a heavy exhale in reply.]
I'm sure you are well aware of how closely you can to ruining it, yes? Not that I expect an apology.
[He wouldn't accept it, anyway.]
no subject
Heheh! And I would have taken great pride in doing so, I'll have you know. I would think of it less as ruination and more of a gentle nudge in the right direction, however. There's no shame in being true to oneself!
[There was a bad bitch brewing in Temenos all along and Lobelia knew it. It's about time he embraced that.]
Still, let me assure you that it was never my intention to kill your beloved. His short temper was a useful tool, but I hadn't anticipated him... well, attempting to eat me. That was never part of the plan.
no subject
I don't know what you could have possibly expected when you chose to jab salt into the proverbial wound of the Avatar of Gluttony.
[Of course he was going to try to eat him??
Still, that precisely what Temenos was getting at when he said Lobelia had almost ruined the truth that he had discovered for himself. The other stuff, however...]
But I suppose I shall begrudgingly give you an ounce of credit for opening my eyes to some matters. I suspect we'll both be different people on the other side of all this.
[What the "other side" looks for Lobelia, though, he cannot say.]
no subject
[At least he can admit that he made an error in judgment? Still, there was no one more suited to the task than Beelzebub, so it is what it is. With such little room for error, Lobelia wasn't willing to take any chances when his own death was a necessity.]
As it stands, my only intention is to serve the one who illuminated my path. That is as immutable a fact now as it always has been, so I would argue you are the one who stands to change the most.
[But knowing what commonalities they share, Lobelia has to issue a well-intentioned warning.]
You aren't out of the woods yet, Temenos. Flirting with death will catch up to you eventually. Now that you've yet one more thing to lose, you'll take heed and watch your step, won't you?