conchy: (Default)
๐š•๐š˜๐š‹๐šŽ๐š•๐š’๐šŠ ([personal profile] conchy) wrote2023-05-16 08:17 pm
immortalpoet: (cardinal)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-10 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
[It is rather cold - even as he's entering the cool water, he's shivering and trying not to show it. Perhaps it really is a boon to have a warm body here, one that he instinctively moves closer to even as he's pulled in. His own arms, hesitating, move up to wrap around the other's shoulders.]

[The cold of the water seems distant already.]


Perhaps it'll build character. Its definitely not a pleasant way to go. Unless you'd prefer I break your neck again?
immortalpoet: (vermillion)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-10 06:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[Nobody wants to hug Lobelia...until now, perhaps. Vergilius is probably the only person who would. There were people, once upon a time, who could've hugged him like this, but he doesn't even remember the last time it happened. A past never to return.]

[The softness of the gesture eases something in his chest, pressing his head against the other's as Lobelia goes for the crook of his neck. It tickles. In response, his index finger scrapes up along the side of the other's neck.]


Mm. [Now his breath is humming in his throat.] It's still by my hands. So savor that. It isn't as if you decided to dump yourself in here.
immortalpoet: (Default)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-10 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[Mon amour...even as much as he's heard the other man say it, there's still something a little unexpected about it. It's as if he's surprised every time, like a child playing peekaboo with a parent and too young to know what's happening.]

[Another little sigh graces his lips as he presses them almost casually against the side of the man's head.]


One would think you're just too excited for me to get my hands on you in general. You need to practice some restraint. Do you even know what that word means?
immortalpoet: (ruby)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-10 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[...]

[Happy. Again, that omnipresent word that has haunted them since they met. He thought he never deserved happiness. It was something to be glimpsed, not obtained.]

[He holds Lobelia close, this warm, bloodthirsty flower of a man. Everything is too new to be comfortable with.]


...I don't know.
immortalpoet: (coral)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-10 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
...Mm.

[Of course its frightening. When you have lost everyone you cared for, what is the point in caring again? He may look after that young lady at home in his own way, but even he won't get too close. He's too skittish. A feral dog who can't adjust to domestic life without wanting to bite the hand that feeds it for the sake of saving himself pain.]

... [His eyes are not meeting the other's.] Self satisfaction is...something out of reach for me. For good reason.
immortalpoet: (carmine)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-10 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[That's right. He did let Lobelia in. He frowns at that, eyes a little brighter, but he's not reacting to it, yet.]

...

[He always keep returning to that moment. A warm voice. A temptation. It would be so easy to dwell in his own desires, and care less about the world around him. But that way led to distortion, both literal and not. He told the voice it was a coward. He would keep going, and end up in his own well, with no desire to stoke, well, his own desire.]

[So he's stuck. Lobelia's words hit him, and he still continues to gaze away at the flowing water between them.]


I said no to...selfishness before. It doesn't feel right. After everything I've done...I should deny myself that option.
immortalpoet: (rose)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-10 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Mm.

[Now that sends something crushing and painful into his expression - already vulnerable, now its easy to see for someone who has come into his life, tormented him, joined in union with him, killed him, become his partner, all within such a short period of time.]

[The children weren't happy because of the things I brought. They wanted to see me smile, because it was so rare-]


...I wouldn't, no. [He admits, finally letting his eyes move up, slowly. The touch in his hair is soft, too soft. His own embrace of the man squeezes him, slightly.] But there's too much sorrow to erase, Lobelia.
immortalpoet: (ruby)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-10 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
["I can't."]

[I can't.]

[That's why his EGO is as it is. The endless sea of blood. It comes in the form of a mantle, a laurel of thorns, a stream of bloody tears. A representation of the pain of so many that he's had to bear, like Atlas holding up the world.]

[He knew a time where it didn't matter. And then it came crushing down, because he saw the children of that horrific City, and a part of him wanted to shield them from whatever the world threw at them. At the same time, he was responsible for that misfortune. What right did he have to make such a decision?]

[That orphanage was also his selfish wish. He remembered thinking that, with that voice. There's no true selflessness. It isn't as if he is a robot, acting mindlessly. In the end, their happiness was his wish, too, and then it all came crashing down.]

[One less pretense to wear, Red Gaze.]


..... [His eyebrows are furrowed, eyes flickering like a candle light in the darkness.] I don't know. I suppose it is. I guess I'm the most selfish soul out there.

[Another sigh, shuddering.]

I'm too used to this, Lobelia. I don't know...how else to manage it.
immortalpoet: (crimson)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-10 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
...Ha.

[An exhale of a laugh at the "old dog" comment. Yeah. That's him. Old, worn down, weary, and yet still moving - well, even if he's dead. This is still "life", in a sense.]

[He's held tightly. He knows now Lobelia will never let go. Through hell and high waters, this is how it is, and how it always will be. Lobelia is a fool for thinking he can erode the cliff of misery, but perhaps that's the only kind of person who can manage such a thing. It makes his own heart hurt all the more for it.]

[He might not wake up the next morning with all that regret behind him, in an instant, but perhaps it is one step at a time. The light in the distance, that star, burning a little brighter. Perhaps he will never get into heaven. At least he can shoot for purgatory, for limbo, and be freed of the fires of the Inferno.]

[He relents with a shift of his own arms to hold the other close.[


...I'll do my best. [He finally says, quietly. A tilt of his head, and he's pressing his lips against the other's cheek, below his eye - his eyelashes flutter against Lobelia's damp forehead, like butterflies.] Maybe this old dog can smile, too.
immortalpoet: (wine)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-11 12:12 am (UTC)(link)
[That's right. This is already a step he never thought he would take. Lobelia is so irritating that way, making him think about things that he thought were off limits. Terrible, terrible Lobelia.]

Will you, now.

[He says it in a way that's a little disbelieving, though more in a teasing way than an actual roll of the eyes way. The kiss is briefly returned, and he's ready to pull back to shake his head like a shaggy dog to get rid of the water-]



[When he's suddenly being lifted. Hey. Huh. What.]


......?!

[HE'S ACTUALLY LEGIT SURPRISED WHAT IS HAPPENING he's grasping onto Lobelia's shoulders in a bit of a shocked instinctual panic, as if expecting the man to just drop him right then and there.]
immortalpoet: (Default)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-11 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
.......???

[Sorry, he is still literally so astonished right now. This has never happened to him. What the fuck.]

[The annoyance is setting in, though its more because he really didn't expect to be in this position whatsoever, and he's still going WHAT THE HELLLL in his own mind. At least he's not making Lobelia put him down?]


How...? You look like you'd break carrying a large log for too long.
immortalpoet: (ruby)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-11 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
[He's let down finally, still holding onto Lobelia...before he seems to realize where he is, detaching himself with an irritated little sigh.]

So what do you even do it, for? Seems like a waste of time when you rely on one thing over another.

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