[He brushes his thumb along Ramuda's cheek, light as breath. The pain that follows does little to dissuade Lobelia. He's simply there, steady where Ramuda shakes.]
Not as a trinket. Not as something to be buried under brighter, sweeter things. As yours. Because you've seen me, tooâ more than you realize.
You think you feel nothing from my words... but look at you now. Your voice, your hands, your heartâ
[He taps gently at Ramuda's sternum with two fingers.]
...your heart already know what it means.
[He tilts his forehead to Ramuda's, breath warm but soft, no pressure to move closer or pull away. However long Ramuda has spent with his own autonomy stripped from him, that ends now. If it's only for a night, then let one night be enough. Ramuda can have what he wants, take what he wants, knowing it's his to hold.]
And whatever happens next, whether you burn bright or break apart... that part of me will stay with you. Not to weigh on you.
You don't have to understand it now. Just feel it. For once, let something be real without having to be sweet.
Lobelia— [ do you want him to cry? he's going to cry, not from the effects of this week which have left him antsy and unfulfilled, but from all the emotions that threaten to drown him.
he won't drown, because he's way too stubborn to not fight back with everything he has to keep his head above the water. but it's still terrifying and raw, overwhelming in a way he's never felt before.
he jumps a little at the gentle taps but resettles just as quickly. naturally, like how things have come to be with them. ]
—it's cheating that you can hear my heart. [ can he pout while he's crying? that's the mess of a face he's making.
maybe he could hide in lobelia's robes? how silly, how stupid, but dumb thoughts like these are proof that he's letting himself feel.
(his heart already knows he's accepted it. he's still here, isn't he?) ]
...why do you always know what to say? [ this isn't a complaint at all. but it is him trying, very miserably, to understand what he's feeling. that there are as many ways for ramuda to disengage in talks like this as there are raindrops in a storm. but somehow, lobelia always threads the needle. if not with his words, with his actions, or as it is now, both. ]
[Ramuda... he has no idea the gift he's given Lobelia. To see him cry, to watch emotion overcome himâ these are treasures only he has been permitted to hold. It's no problem at all to bundle Ramuda in his arms and hold him to his chest, his own heartbeat audible, just barely, beneath his robes.
It stings, yes, but he can't let Ramuda go when he's in such a state. Lobelia is careful not to press too hard when he combs his fingers through Ramuda's hair. These hands were not meant to soothe, and yet they feel inclined to try anyway.]
I speak from the heart, mon cher. That's all. You make it easy to be honest.
[ ramuda listens, really listens. his own heartbeat is almost too loud in his ears, but he can hear lobelia's too. does he know that ramuda's weak to this specific kind of touch? ramuda wouldn't be surprised if he did at this point. lobelia knows way too much and ramuda doesn't really have any fight left him in anymore.
he lets his eyes slide closed, calming with the fingers in his hair even if he can still feel the pain elsewhere. this isn't how he thought this talk would go. why is he still here? and why doesn't he want to leave? ]
...then your heart is beautiful and warm. [ he doesn't usually talk like this, he's usually one for blatant flirting not heartfelt words. but it slips out, raw and unbidden in place of the tears that came before. ]
I don't know about that. You see beauty where others see rot.
[Does Lobelia sound bothered by this? Not at all. He knows what he is, he knows how others view him, and he's still fascinated that there's someone in this world who sees something ugly and calls it beautiful.
The pain doesn't keep Lobelia from tousling Ramuda's hair and kissing the top of his head.]
But you aren't blind to the ways of the world. You've seen its darkness and think to call my heart beautiful anyway. J'ai beaucoup de chance.
[ ramuda laughs in spite of everything he's feeling, bright, happy laughter. he was angry and then he was confused, he was crying, and now he's pretty content with the touch lobelia is lavishing on him. his mind and heart hurt but whatever—he unburrows to shoot a glance upward, a wink and the pink of his tongue. he thinks lobelia is being a little silly, because ramuda has never once thought twice about this. ]
I like that "rot". It's part of what makes you so interesting! [ he's hesitant to break the caress of fingers in his hair, so he settles for nuzzling his face into lobelia's chest instead. yeah it hurts, but expressing his affection is more important. ]
[It's that broad range of emotion that speaks to Lobelia. They both know how to present a particular image to the world, but when they're alone? That's when Ramuda gives up the act and shows Lobelia his true face. There is no finer compliment in the world.
So he rewards him with another kiss, lips lingering against the fluffy top of Ramuda's head, luxuriating in his company.]
Vous ĂȘtes charmant. You know... I've lived most of my life alone, but you make me want to change my ways. Just a bit, of course.
Heyy, you weren't gonna just leave me on some airship were you!? [ that would have been silly, but ramuda doesn't seem to mind at all.
he's also still not moving from where he is, maybe soon, but for now the desire for comfort wins out. instead he leans upward to to press a kiss to lobelia's neck. ]
And I've lived my whole life with people, but never the same ones for too long. [ he pauses, wondering if he should provide an answer for an answer.
he really shouldn't. he hasn't forgotten why he originally came in here, but this moment is... ]
So, samesies? In reverse, or like a reflection!
[ please don't make him spell this out.
okay he will totally spell it out but his heart thumping like a rabbit betrays him anyway, especially in present company. ]
[Lobelia snickers over the notion of abandoning poor Ramuda on some airship and saying peace out. He's done a lot of bad things in his life, but he'd never offer to bring Ramuda along just to ditch him. His soft laughter rumbles along Ramuda's lips where he's kissed his neck.]
Oui. "Samesies". I like the sound of that.
[And they can just continue to speak in their own language without bothering with making a big deal out of things other people sweat over for months. Two free spirits choosing each other is a beautiful thing, Lobelia thinks. He doesn't feel stifled by Ramuda at all, so it's the simplest thing in the world to promise him his companionship.]
[ okay now ramuda is laughing too, because hearing lobelia say "samesies" in such a serious way is really, really funny? and charming and cute somehow. what has he done. ]
Heyyyyy! I'm a lotta things right now! I was really mad and now I'm really happy? Yeah! And my head hurts a lil' but I'm doing my best!
[ really he is, in every way, even in the ways he usually runs away from. arggggh fine, he'll say it more plainly because lobelia called him out already. ]
Anyway! Then that's what we'll do â ! Which I think we were gonna do anyway but now we're reaaaaaaaally gonna do it, for more than just like, a day. We can have fun together wherever! Go wherever, together!
[ there's probably a word for this, but whatever it is, ramuda can't find it. he's completely lost control of his emotions, though the grin on his face is exuberant as he looks up at lobelia properly.
there's no point in hiding if the other party can just find you no matter how deep you dig is there? no, not if being exposed isn't unpleasant or painful, but rather nice, actually. ]
Oui, that's the spirit. The world is yours, Cher. No one will tether you in place any longer. I'll make sure of it.
[If Ramuda can handle Lobelia's nomadic lifestyle, he'll find that the world is a big, beautiful place full of limitless potential. From the look on Ramuda's face, Lobelia can tell he's already seriously considering his futureâ a happier one. One in which he's allowed to simply be himself and thrive.]
It may take some getting used to, but you will acclimate. Once you understand what it truly means to be free, you'll accept nothing less.
[ stooooop saying things that are bad for his heart! ramuda kind of huffs at that because he actually kind of believes it even if he's also having a combination of a doki and an anxiety attack right now. hopefully lobelia is enjoying this, at least.
a nomadic lifestyle suits ramuda far more than one where he has to put down roots; he's only done so in shibuya because it's what he was instructed to do and what he has to keep doing, he's a free spirit in every other sense of the word and at heart. ]
Lobeliaaaaaaa! [ sorry, he just needed to get that out there. ] You know I'm gonna hold you to that now, right? Even if— [ no he just cried, he's rejecting this emotion for now. ] —even if I become a stupid ghost!!!
I'd totally be the cutest onryo! I'd say I'm warning you, but it's too late now.
[ huff!!!
but despite the ridiculous way he's said it, ramuda truly means it. if you want him like this, then he's finally accepting it fully even if that was literally the last thing on his mind when he came storming in here. there is no Escape from this pink menance now in whatever form he comes in. ]
[He's accustomed to listening first, thinking second, and everything else comes third. He can hear the anxiety and excitement stirring in Ramuda's heart and it makes him smile. Call him mean, or call him a humble appreciator of Ramuda acting cutely and earnestly.]
Oui! And you should! I would not make a promise if I had no intention of keeping it.
[And Ramuda knows Lobelia has no problem being mean. If he didn't mean it, he'd certainly know it.]
Now, now... No need to fuss, though you are quite cute when you do. [pats for ramuda hehe] What is an onryo?
[ ramuda: i've done a lot of things and more than my fair share of promises but i've never promised myself to someone. not seriously, not like it's been between the two of them tonight.
he needs to process this and he will, but for now he's decided to just accept it as best he can. thank god for the pats honestly because it does help settle him. so does calling him cute, he knows he is thank you, but it's very much like petting him emotionally. ]
An onryo is a type of vengeful spirit. Usually they're women and they haunt their lovers who talked shit, scorned them, and forgot all about 'em as soon as they're gone.
Oui, oui. It will be my sole responsibility if I spurn you, non? I'll be careful.
[Said with a heh, but he means it.]
Hone-onna... You will need to explain that one as well. Moreover, it sounds like you have much to teach me, mon cher. I would be delighted to learn more of your native tongue.
[ ramuda gives lobelia a Look briefly but...like fuck it, he obviously trusts him even if he's fought against it this entire time, so like. it's fine. he'll get a kiss instead, because they're here now. ]
Then I'll teach you Japanese! I'm a pretty good teacher, hehe.
Will you teach me French? I know a little but only like, what's practical.
Hehe, yaaaaaaaaay! [ ramuda likes languages too, words are important! ]
I'm a smart lil' eclair so don't you worry â .
[ though saying that aloud made him realize... ]
Hey, you have a pet name for me but I don't have one for you! [ because he doesn't tend to nickname people unless it would piss them off because sometimes they are the same person. but this is different! ]
I thiiiiiiiiiink I'll call you... bae ♥ !
[ you can absolutely hear the heart, because despite the ridiculousness of it all, ramuda does mean it with his entire heart. ]
Well when you put it like that, it doesn't sound nearly cute or sexy enough! But you're right, though it's once removed cause it's a shortened form of babe.
[ a simple explanation and one he could very well leave there, because ramuda is himself, but- ]
I've had a lot of honeys, sweeties, and cutie pies. But I've never had a bae before!
[ he's still sir not processing so much of this right now, but he can easily admit this much, that lobelia is special. ]
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[He brushes his thumb along Ramuda's cheek, light as breath. The pain that follows does little to dissuade Lobelia. He's simply there, steady where Ramuda shakes.]
Not as a trinket. Not as something to be buried under brighter, sweeter things. As yours. Because you've seen me, tooâ more than you realize.
You think you feel nothing from my words... but look at you now. Your voice, your hands, your heartâ
[He taps gently at Ramuda's sternum with two fingers.]
...your heart already know what it means.
[He tilts his forehead to Ramuda's, breath warm but soft, no pressure to move closer or pull away. However long Ramuda has spent with his own autonomy stripped from him, that ends now. If it's only for a night, then let one night be enough. Ramuda can have what he wants, take what he wants, knowing it's his to hold.]
And whatever happens next, whether you burn bright or break apart... that part of me will stay with you. Not to weigh on you.
You don't have to understand it now. Just feel it. For once, let something be real without having to be sweet.
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he won't drown, because he's way too stubborn to not fight back with everything he has to keep his head above the water. but it's still terrifying and raw, overwhelming in a way he's never felt before.
he jumps a little at the gentle taps but resettles just as quickly. naturally, like how things have come to be with them. ]
—it's cheating that you can hear my heart. [ can he pout while he's crying? that's the mess of a face he's making.
maybe he could hide in lobelia's robes? how silly, how stupid, but dumb thoughts like these are proof that he's letting himself feel.
(his heart already knows he's accepted it. he's still here, isn't he?) ]
...why do you always know what to say? [ this isn't a complaint at all. but it is him trying, very miserably, to understand what he's feeling. that there are as many ways for ramuda to disengage in talks like this as there are raindrops in a storm. but somehow, lobelia always threads the needle. if not with his words, with his actions, or as it is now, both. ]
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It stings, yes, but he can't let Ramuda go when he's in such a state. Lobelia is careful not to press too hard when he combs his fingers through Ramuda's hair. These hands were not meant to soothe, and yet they feel inclined to try anyway.]
I speak from the heart, mon cher. That's all. You make it easy to be honest.
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he lets his eyes slide closed, calming with the fingers in his hair even if he can still feel the pain elsewhere. this isn't how he thought this talk would go. why is he still here? and why doesn't he want to leave? ]
...then your heart is beautiful and warm. [ he doesn't usually talk like this, he's usually one for blatant flirting not heartfelt words. but it slips out, raw and unbidden in place of the tears that came before. ]
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[Does Lobelia sound bothered by this? Not at all. He knows what he is, he knows how others view him, and he's still fascinated that there's someone in this world who sees something ugly and calls it beautiful.
The pain doesn't keep Lobelia from tousling Ramuda's hair and kissing the top of his head.]
But you aren't blind to the ways of the world. You've seen its darkness and think to call my heart beautiful anyway. J'ai beaucoup de chance.
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I like that "rot". It's part of what makes you so interesting! [ he's hesitant to break the caress of fingers in his hair, so he settles for nuzzling his face into lobelia's chest instead. yeah it hurts, but expressing his affection is more important. ]
I wouldn't want you any other way. Je te jure.
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So he rewards him with another kiss, lips lingering against the fluffy top of Ramuda's head, luxuriating in his company.]
Vous ĂȘtes charmant. You know... I've lived most of my life alone, but you make me want to change my ways. Just a bit, of course.
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he's also still not moving from where he is, maybe soon, but for now the desire for comfort wins out. instead he leans upward to to press a kiss to lobelia's neck. ]
And I've lived my whole life with people, but never the same ones for too long. [ he pauses, wondering if he should provide an answer for an answer.
he really shouldn't. he hasn't forgotten why he originally came in here, but this moment is... ]
So, samesies? In reverse, or like a reflection!
[ please don't make him spell this out.
okay he will totally spell it out but his heart thumping like a rabbit betrays him anyway, especially in present company. ]
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Oui. "Samesies". I like the sound of that.
[And they can just continue to speak in their own language without bothering with making a big deal out of things other people sweat over for months. Two free spirits choosing each other is a beautiful thing, Lobelia thinks. He doesn't feel stifled by Ramuda at all, so it's the simplest thing in the world to promise him his companionship.]
...Heh. You're quite nervous, aren't you? TrĂšs mignon.
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Heyyyyy! I'm a lotta things right now! I was really mad and now I'm really happy? Yeah! And my head hurts a lil' but I'm doing my best!
[ really he is, in every way, even in the ways he usually runs away from. arggggh fine, he'll say it more plainly because lobelia called him out already. ]
Anyway! Then that's what we'll do â ! Which I think we were gonna do anyway but now we're reaaaaaaaally gonna do it, for more than just like, a day. We can have fun together wherever! Go wherever, together!
[ there's probably a word for this, but whatever it is, ramuda can't find it. he's completely lost control of his emotions, though the grin on his face is exuberant as he looks up at lobelia properly.
there's no point in hiding if the other party can just find you no matter how deep you dig is there? no, not if being exposed isn't unpleasant or painful, but rather nice, actually. ]
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[If Ramuda can handle Lobelia's nomadic lifestyle, he'll find that the world is a big, beautiful place full of limitless potential. From the look on Ramuda's face, Lobelia can tell he's already seriously considering his futureâ a happier one. One in which he's allowed to simply be himself and thrive.]
It may take some getting used to, but you will acclimate. Once you understand what it truly means to be free, you'll accept nothing less.
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a nomadic lifestyle suits ramuda far more than one where he has to put down roots; he's only done so in shibuya because it's what he was instructed to do and what he has to keep doing, he's a free spirit in every other sense of the word and at heart. ]
Lobeliaaaaaaa! [ sorry, he just needed to get that out there. ] You know I'm gonna hold you to that now, right? Even if— [ no he just cried, he's rejecting this emotion for now. ] —even if I become a stupid ghost!!!
I'd totally be the cutest onryo! I'd say I'm warning you, but it's too late now.
[ huff!!!
but despite the ridiculous way he's said it, ramuda truly means it. if you want him like this, then he's finally accepting it fully even if that was literally the last thing on his mind when he came storming in here. there is no Escape from this pink menance now in whatever form he comes in. ]
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Oui! And you should! I would not make a promise if I had no intention of keeping it.
[And Ramuda knows Lobelia has no problem being mean. If he didn't mean it, he'd certainly know it.]
Now, now... No need to fuss, though you are quite cute when you do. [pats for ramuda hehe] What is an onryo?
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he needs to process this and he will, but for now he's decided to just accept it as best he can. thank god for the pats honestly because it does help settle him. so does calling him cute, he knows he is thank you, but it's very much like petting him emotionally. ]
An onryo is a type of vengeful spirit. Usually they're women and they haunt their lovers who talked shit, scorned them, and forgot all about 'em as soon as they're gone.
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...C'est fascinant! A charming little tale to keep lovers honest, oui? TrĂšs bien.
Though if you ask me, mon cher... it sounds suspiciously like your personal permission slip to be dramatic whenever the mood strikes.
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[ "if" says ramuda despite seeing ghosts like EVERY DAY here. let him live in his delusions. ]
I don't need a permission slip cause I never went to school, so I get to do that whenever I want! [ is this how it works? it is now. ]
Besides, I'll only turn into that if you deserve it. If not I'll be a... Hone-onna.
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[Said with a heh, but he means it.]
Hone-onna... You will need to explain that one as well. Moreover, it sounds like you have much to teach me, mon cher. I would be delighted to learn more of your native tongue.
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Then I'll teach you Japanese! I'm a pretty good teacher, hehe.
Will you teach me French? I know a little but only like, what's practical.
[ looks at other thread and looks away
he will explain the other youkai in a moment. ]
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[Hm.................. Doubtful, actually, but Ramuda would probably agree. If nothing else, Lobelia is a quick study.]
In exchange, I'll teach you my mother tongue.
[Wherever France is, Lobelia needs to pay a visit. His people...]
Ah, but while I am a good student, I am not so kind a teacher. I hope you learn quickly, mon Ă©clair.
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I'm a smart lil' eclair so don't you worry â .
[ though saying that aloud made him realize... ]
Hey, you have a pet name for me but I don't have one for you! [ because he doesn't tend to nickname people unless it would piss them off because sometimes they are the same person. but this is different! ]
I thiiiiiiiiiink I'll call you... bae ♥ !
[ you can absolutely hear the heart, because despite the ridiculousness of it all, ramuda does mean it with his entire heart. ]
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Ah, another new term. Let me guess: some variation of 'baby'?
[That's his best guess, but this is Ramuda. For all Lobelia knows, it could mean something entirely different.]
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Well when you put it like that, it doesn't sound nearly cute or sexy enough! But you're right, though it's once removed cause it's a shortened form of babe.
[ a simple explanation and one he could very well leave there, because ramuda is himself, but- ]
I've had a lot of honeys, sweeties, and cutie pies. But I've never had a bae before!
[ he's still sir not processing so much of this right now, but he can easily admit this much, that lobelia is special. ]
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[He'll take it. Bae suits him just fine.]
In that case, I'm honored to be your one and only bae. I'm a rare breed, you know.
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[ he leans up, putting his hands on his collar to pull lobelia in for a particularly deep kiss. ]
I know â . That's why you deserve it, hehe.
But what about me? Am I your only eclair?
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Who else would there be but you? That's quite a silly question, mon cher.
[In Lobelia's eyes, at least. He's not exactly used to being the target of anyone's earnest affection... though he doesn't mind, obviously.]
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