conchy: (Default)
πš•πš˜πš‹πšŽπš•πš’πšŠ ([personal profile] conchy) wrote2023-05-16 08:17 pm
immortalpoet: (Default)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[Can you live your life in fear of everything you'll lose?]

[Yes.]

[Because he has.]

[Because even as he expected it, even as he was aware of it, it still happened. Knowing it would've happened didn't change a thing. He expected the other shoe to fall, and it did.]

[He doesn't meet the other's eyes, a bitter taste at the back of his throat.]


....I don't deserve to truly "live", Lobelia.

[In the end, the karma was just payment. He obtained happiness. But it was never meant to be.]

[Everything would be taken away from him in time.]
immortalpoet: (cardinal)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 06:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[I do. I do deserve every bit of pain. I made so many suffer. I made children into orphans. Its all because of me.]

[What a wretched, pathetic, despicable soul he is.]

[The fingertips move to tug through his hair, and he lets out a noise as if in protest. He's a beaten animal not even moving to lick at his own wounds. Let him be, let him be-]


Its not so simple. [He wishes it was. His voice cracks on his lips, like the sound from an old set of stairs.] I would be a hypocrite. The last person who could hold anyone close is me.
immortalpoet: (Default)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)
...

["Humans can't help but love one another."]

[Funny, how its coming from a man who made him so miserable for his own selfish ends before. Funny, how it comes from someone who ripped out his heart, killed him, and then died for...what, his sake?]

[His fingers curl momentarily. He's a stubborn old bull, he knows he is. You can lead him to water, can't make him drink.]


After everything I've done, its only right for me to cut myself off from that.

[Another argument. He's pitiful, he is. He's been in this cold darkness of penance for too long. Even with the children, he was there.]

[He would've been relieved if one of the children stabbed him in the back. That dream he had seen before with Lapis doing just that had been expected.]


It's only right. That's the price I have to pay.
immortalpoet: (cerise)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey.

[OW? He's making a face, that is his EAR. YOU BINCH.]

When did I promise that? [Now he's looking up at Lobelia, eyes flaring.] That's the point. Happiness for others. Not for myself.

[And something defeated sort of sits in his body, the tension abating as soon as it came. He listens to Lobelia's heart, warm and steady and strong. He had held it in his hands not too long ago. Even that, he didn't deserve, even if it felt so right at the time, in the heat of anger.]

...I've caused too much blood to flow.
immortalpoet: (wine)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Because men are not gods.

[And sins cannot be washed away just by walking away from them, in his opinion. Why is his EGO a mantle of blood, a laurel of thorns? They're made to be worn to eternity, painful as they are.]

[The next part makes him actually lift his head up, incredulous.]


What? Addicted? [He's never been called this - sure, he's considered himself selfish, but for something like this?] Oh, pray tell, who else is going to bear the burden, then? You don't understand anything.
immortalpoet: (vermillion)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[He feels like someone is lighting a candle behind his earlobes. He can't understand why.]

...

[He's looking as stern as always, but the way he pushes his lips out almost seems like a pout, even in that tight, scarred face.]

You make it sound like we're really married or something.
immortalpoet: (wine)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[what]


[WHAT]


Um. No. I mean. [AGH] It's still not actual marriage, Lobelia.

[JUST SAYING!!!!!!!!!! OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
immortalpoet: (cherry)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[WHY ARE YOU FORCING HIM INTO BEING THE TSUNDERE KOHAI HERE, HUSBAND!!!!! BINCH!!!!!!!!!]

[His ears are beet red. What is haPPENING.]


Even if it's that, it's not... [He's letting out a very frustrated noise, burying his face against the other's chest LEavE HIM ALONE] Whatever.
immortalpoet: (Default)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Can't he get a third option which is never fully address this because he is too emotionally constipated to do so.]

[Ugh.]

[He's not even looking up, heaving a sigh.]


.......Hmmph. [He hates it here.] As much as I would like to crush your spirit into tiny pieces...

[As much as it would be easy to.]

....I won't.

[He couldn't go through with it. He realizes that. Lobelia's happiness....would he really want to add that to the list of things he's destroyed?]

[It's why he paused then, all that time ago, during their first tryst, and made Lobelia turn away from despair.]

[He can't do such a thing like that. He doesn't have it in him to it.]
immortalpoet: (crimson)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
...

[Please take good care of me. And that hair ruffle...it should be something to annoy him, but it doesn't. It doesn't at all.]

[Ah. Lobelia knows his soft spots too well. How can he resist a thing like that? Even someone like Lobelia, with his blood-stained past, responsible for the deaths of thousands, even his own parents...]

[Even something like that seems unable to stop him. Lobelia is not a child to protect in some tiny little corner, hidden away from the cruel world. He's quite different. But all the same, he can't abandon him, just like he never abandoned the idea of creating a better world for a man whose bloodstains and anger could outweigh his own.]

[I wanted to create a world where even you could live in peace.]

[....He raises his head, reaching with his left hand to grasp the other's, glancing at his handiwork and Lobelia's handiwork between entwined fingers.]

[A mild, soft smile manages to grace his lips.]


....I will.

[Another sigh, but its not so tired anymore. Something lighter is sitting there, like a bird in a window. A glimmer of light. Hope.]

I'll take care of you till the end. And then beyond that. You can't be rid of me. Not now. Not ever. You're mine.

[Unto hell.]
immortalpoet: (Default)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-20 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
It's like you haven't met me.

[Though he knows what he's referring to, here. This all feels strange. He's far too used to wallowing in his own grief. There was no one left to pull him out of it. Not even Lapis. He was drowning so long, he forgot the taste of air.]

[He's pulling their hands aside so he can shift forward, kiss him. He lets it linger, like a promise of its own]


Okay. [It feels strange, but okay. It feels like he shouldn't. But okay. Okay. It's going to be okay.] I won't. As long as you don't forget that I'll be your guide.

[He led him once to happiness. He'll lead him again. Lobelia found it after their death. It doesn't mean he can't get lost, still. Vergilius will pull him back, no matter what.]
immortalpoet: (crimson)

[personal profile] immortalpoet 2023-06-21 04:14 am (UTC)(link)
...

[How lonely must he have been, to crave this warmth? He had been denying it for so long that it feels like it should be snatched away from him as quickly as it came.]

[Lobelia holds him. He says those words. That he trusts him. And he believes it. They both have changed, like an irrevocable chemical reaction. Vergilius moves his head lightly in that grip to press dots of kisses over his fingertips, one by one. Right hand. Left hand. His wound on the ring finger. The tip of his tongue presses against it, a taste.]


I won't betray that trust. And I will heed your words, too. Even if I have every right to complain if you're being a fool. [Heh.] That's my right.

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-21 15:28 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-21 20:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-21 22:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-22 03:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-22 04:33 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-22 04:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-22 16:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-23 03:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-23 04:57 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-23 23:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-24 04:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-24 04:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-28 20:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-29 04:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-29 20:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-29 21:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-06-30 13:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] immortalpoet - 2023-07-01 16:26 (UTC) - Expand